Relate South Essex - Southend-on-Sea

Nick M.

Very helpful people during what can be a very stressful time in people's lives, I think they helped my personal situation quite alot, it's not the same as getting mental health therapy but a good way to help mediation between couples and allow things to be spoken about in a safe space etc

Brian W.

Relate is, obviously, a well known name and has probably helped numerous people, but my experience with Relate South Essex was disastrous.

First, if you're booking a counsellor anywhere else you'll know the counsellor's name & be able to visit their website, learn a bit about them - their background / areas of specialisation etc.

Relate charge you pretty much the same price (or more) and give you no info. My wife and I booked an appointment and all they would give us is a (very common) first name and wouldn't tell us anything about the counsellor or her experience.

The woman we did see was so clueless and incompetent that it became apparent within a few minutes. I should have known right at the start when she struggled to understand my date of birth. I gave it to her in the form of "27, 12, 73" and she couldn't figure it out even after I said it a few times. I had to eventually explain that 27 is the date, 12 is the month, which means December, and 73 is the year which should be read as 1973! She sounded sheepish at her inability to understand a six digit DOB and made some feeble excuse about the US format being different. (No, I don't sound American and, in any case, the last time I checked the US didn't have a month 27 in any year.)

It went downhill from there. She lacked the intellectual capacity to understand even the basics of the issues we needed help with and took minutes, literally minutes, to decide whose side she was on. Then she started attacking everything I said. And I thought they were supposed to listen and be neutral! She listened to my wife's explanation of why she was there but when it was my turn she kept interrupting me, challenging me and displaying a most unhelpful & unnecessary aggression.

I excused myself and walked out. £55 down the drain!

If you've decided to see a counsellor, it's a big deal. And the person you choose is going to make all the difference as to whether you get to your goals. If you're paying anyway, choose one of the numerous independent counsellors (some of whom will actually give you a free trial session for you to see if they are right for you).

Added 30/05: Relate, thanks for replying. I thought your counsellor was partisan... and useless. I walked out and won't be returning. I don't have a "dispute" with you so there's nothing to "resolve", but if it'll be of help I sent your office a request for the Centre Administrator's email. Give me that email address (or DD phone) and I'll provide more detailed feedback (partly because I'm still so annoyed at "Liz". For example, she kept asking my wife again and again if she "felt safe". Eventually my wife had to go into a long explanation that she's NEVER felt physical threatened ever in our 20 years of marriage. But "Liz" just couldn't accept that I wasn't beating my wife up! Ridiculous!)

I hear what you say about unregulated industry and that you would like the public to just trust the "Relate" brand. I did that, it was a mistake. I would urge others to do a bit of research and find a competent, qualified independent.

PS: No, 27/12/73 is not my "real" DOB. I wouldn't post my real DOB in a public location.

Rozi B.

Really constructive and helpful advice.